Reveldemption Shows up for Ice Cream Cake 25

19 Feb

Posted by markmagnus as Uncategorized

In an unprecedented show of success, Revelations and Redemption joined forces to take on the most powerful evils in the world. However, the most powerful evils in the world were not available at the moment, so we left a message and headed to Icecrown. Through a combination of our unique strategy and ingenious play scoring system, we were able to streamline the raid to what mere mortals might consider unimaginable. No, the irony of saying someone would consider something unimaginable isn’t lost on me, but certain concessions must be made for pointlessly dramatic affect–but I digress. For the first time ever, Revelations is going to share our successful recipe for forming, leading, and running successful raids.

Step 1 – Recruitment
This step is crucial. I suggest trade chat. You want your spam message to be unique and specific, letting people know that you mean business and the raid isn’t for those who are dead weight. Make sure to use all caps for extra emphasis, try to abbreviate anything at all possible (the extra attention to efficiency will certainly grab extra attention from serious raiders), and try to have a reasonable gearscore requirement. Something like “LFM NEED HLRS AND TANKS 4 ICC25 NO SCRUBS GS 8k+ WH 4k+ ONLY PST” should suffice.

No doubt those with the courage to respond will be only the cream of the crop as far as hardcore raiding goes, but every now and then a terrible will also try to sneak their way into your raid. Here’s what you can look out for. Anyone that sends a tell that forces you to think to yourself: “was that really English or did some Scandanavian mail-order bride escape from her cage and hop on papi’s laptop again?” is probably a keeper. Yeah they can’t communicate effectively enough to order a Big-Mac at a drive through, but rest assured, the law of averages dictates that since they are so bad at human interaction, they must be awesome at raiding. Anyone with 3 or more X’s in their name like SuperStabRogueXXX or Xdeathnightxx or megaXxXpewpewmage is also a keeper. Also any hunters or rogues named legolas or deathknights named Arthas–the originality and familiarity with the genre shows intense dedication. Finally, keep an eye peeled for those recruits with specific demands and an aura of superiority. This indicates that not only do they have the betterment of the raid in mind, but they’re willing to help out the newer players with helpful insight into their class, making the raiding environment more enjoyable for everyone.

Step 2 – Raid Instruction (Optional)
Honestly there’s nothing important here as far as details go, explaining or paying attention to encounter mechanics is an over-rated practice that scrubs like to trumpet as reasons why they keep wiping to trivial content. Make sure everyone has flasks though, this is important. Tanks go tank stuff and dps kill everything, if anyone dies, yell at the healers or replace them if necessary.

Most of this stage will be made up of giving inspirational speeches in the case of wipes and keeping your raid in line if they start complaining. Make sure they know who the boss is. The best way to deal with bad performance is usually yelling, but sometimes can be leaving the raid and logging out for the night as well. In the case of a trivial wipe, recommended pump-up talks could be: “Guys, this is easy as shit, just stop sucking and let’s kill this already”, or “I swear to god if one of you retards screws that up again we’re done for the night”. In the case of many wipes on the same boss, becoming more obstinate will show strength and prevent the raid from becoming discouraged. If all else fails, just tell the raid to shut the hell up and do it like professionals.

Stage 3 – Profit
Self Evident. Try not to brag too much about your kills and the resulting loot. 4-5 times in general chat per raid as well as a realm forum post should suffice. Try not to be too condescending to those that aren’t awesome enough to enjoy your gear level, but let’s face it–you’re better than them and you have the purples to prove it. It’s also tacky to link achievements unless the goal is win an argument about who knows more how to play.

Hope everyone enjoyed the helpful walkthrough and try to stay dry while raiding out there.

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