Serious struggle staying safely staggered superseded some satisfying success slaying Sindragosa. Some server stability situations severely stunted successful sessions; still, stalwart superstars sustained. Subsequently, serendipitous slayers started settling sizable scores succumbing spectacularly to the sole surviving soul.

Alot has been going on with our favorite neighborhood crimefighters. Since our last update, we’ve had 2 entire instances released, one standard-sized guild implosion, 2 new guild leaders, the coming of the saronite farming alt-pocalypse, 2 Shadow’s Edge quest completions, several packages of Oreos of various makes and modes, several new members and applicants, one Morblore, and dozens of boss kills, upgrade loots, nerfs, buffs, badges, emblems, achievements, mounts, and a general ton of fun with the good ole’ rev brigade.

But you say “I know all this, I want to know about the guild breakup and what Rev is up to NAO!”. Will we be back raiding 25 man ICC and competing with Exigence/Exodus/Exo-whatever guilds to get the bright shinies as fast as humanly possible? Will we fall into the ranks of the once-proud guilds turned casual that talk like they would make world firsts if only the world wasn’t stacked against them, or will we crumble entirely and go quietly into the night? I couldn’t tell you for sure, but if the actual story was half as interesting, I’m sure someone would make money on the book deal.

What we are doing is the same thing we’ve done since the guild came together and really the only thing that our guild has been very good at: running around with our buddies having a good time doing whatever we can given the number of people we have online and their relative interest. This week that meant killing Valithria Dreamwalker (10 man). I didn’t take a screenshot because even while the encounter was amazing, it honestly couldn’t compare to how amazing the following screenshot is:

I’ve also once again resumed my task of editorial overlord of the news page, which means you can expect a steady but unpredictable stream of guild news updates, juvenile humor, twisted current event references, and literal litany of literary alliteration crafted to twist tongues while informally informing the casually curious.

That, and post funny nuggets for those that were here get to chuckle at while the rest of you scratch your collective heads with a ponderous WTF?

“I cannot come to raid tonight”
Said little Bloodelf rogue deathknight.
“I have a date and work to do,
a job, and chores, and homework too.

My class is nerfed, my gear is broke.
My dps makes me a joke.
The leaders say the healing’s fine,
I’ve counted only 2 online.

And there’s one more – we’re up to three,
A guaranteed repair bill spending spree.
The strat’s all wrong, raid makeups suck,
If we win it’s only luck.

I don’t want loot, I always pass,
I know that Blizzard hates my class.
In PvP I’m worst by far,
you see what my arena ratings are?

I can’t get groups to do my quest,
I’m so desperate I might ask Pest.
The tank is dumb, healing’s a chore,

Fireball spam is such a bore.

My mods are broke, my mouse is dead,
I’m actually on the way to bed.
Last time we went it was a rout,

I think I might be burning out.

I might just go to play with friends,
It’s two days till my subscription ends.
The timezone’s wrong, my schedule changed,

Plus don’t you need another ranged?

My spec is wrong, my gear still sucks …
What? What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say ………….. we’ll clear Sunwell today?

Quick summon me I’m on the way!”

Shel Siverstien was a God among men.
Here’s to Northrend.

In honor of the recently disbarred Jack Thompson, this progression update post will attempt to shelter any depraved soul unlucky enough to click on the link from being subjected to the horrors that video games can inflict on the unsuspecting.

The post will not mention that we killed Felmyst, because even the mere mention of such an atrocity will surely incite the youth of the world to arm themselves and begin gunning their friends down in video-game inspired rampages. There will also be no screenshots as depictions or recounts of such deplorable violence is surely the cause of both global climate change and economic crisis.

This post will not cover the encounter with two indecently clad costumed females, because images of such blatant sexuality could only cause sexual confusion and misunderstanding in the audience. Sure, the game is rated teen, but you know those toddlers are bound to sneak into the study and log on to get a glimpse of some hot 30 foot tall Draeni pudding. There’s no getting around that fact, it’s inevitable.

Lastly, this post will make no mention of situation regarding the ongoing investigation of the alleged ‘hate crime’ involving a certain ‘dark’ Naaru. This type of bigotry is expected in low-brow franchises like Resident Evil, but the rationalization of violence based on color just has to stop, there’s no place for it in gaming and there’s no reason to glorify it. This type of content is an insult to mild-mannered peaceful dark Naaru everywhere.

Sure, you might say classifying killing M’uru as a hate crime is a bit of a stretch, but who are you to make that call? It’s not your call, it’s Jack Thompson’s call. That is, up until the state of Florida put his ass on the iggy.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming of convincing people that there are only 2 ways to be cool this year: buy a Mac product or vote for Obama.