As many of you already know, I am Donovan MacNabb.  When I’m getting ready for the big game, I like to eat myself a whole lot of Campbell’s Chunky Soup.  It has the nutrients and protiens I need to win the big game.

But off the field when I’m knee deep in a monster filled dungeon, I can’t always get a can of my favorite soup.  That’s when I like to break out my Feast and have a nice pre-game meal.  I’m a big man, and I need lots of Feasts though.  My teammates like to eat a lot of Feasts too, and that’s how we get through the tougher fights in this league.

 Hey Hodir… Go Long!

 

So as many people who know me are already aware, I played Atreyu in the Never Ending Story.  What most people don’t know, is that the little prick kid who played Bastion grew up to become a Blizzard Developer.  This time he totally combined Rockbiter and those lazer eyebeam shooting statues and created Kologarn.  That’s a bunch of crap if you ask me man.  Freaking Bastion combining sweet creatures from the best movie ever made and taking credit for it.  We killed your dumb monster Bastion, so blah.  Atreyu cannot be stopped by your dumb Never Ending Story monsters.  I hope Falcor craps on your chest while you sleep. 

 

You listen here and you listen good… Dragons made of metal can’t fly.  I’m an engineer damn it, and I know about planes.  Nothing made of metal can fly.  Metal is just simply too heavy, especially iron.  I don’t claim to know everything in this world, but I do know that.  Dragons with big irony wings and sharp irony claws and balls and whatnot cannot fly.  I think that’s the first law of thermodynamics.  I’m a scientist and I know things like this cause I graduated from lincoln highschool.  So in the interest of science, we ended this abomination of the laws of physics themselves!

Where’s my progress peeps?!

“I cannot come to raid tonight”
Said little Bloodelf rogue deathknight.
“I have a date and work to do,
a job, and chores, and homework too.

My class is nerfed, my gear is broke.
My dps makes me a joke.
The leaders say the healing’s fine,
I’ve counted only 2 online.

And there’s one more – we’re up to three,
A guaranteed repair bill spending spree.
The strat’s all wrong, raid makeups suck,
If we win it’s only luck.

I don’t want loot, I always pass,
I know that Blizzard hates my class.
In PvP I’m worst by far,
you see what my arena ratings are?

I can’t get groups to do my quest,
I’m so desperate I might ask Pest.
The tank is dumb, healing’s a chore,

Fireball spam is such a bore.

My mods are broke, my mouse is dead,
I’m actually on the way to bed.
Last time we went it was a rout,

I think I might be burning out.

I might just go to play with friends,
It’s two days till my subscription ends.
The timezone’s wrong, my schedule changed,

Plus don’t you need another ranged?

My spec is wrong, my gear still sucks …
What? What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say ………….. we’ll clear Sunwell today?

Quick summon me I’m on the way!”

Shel Siverstien was a God among men.
Here’s to Northrend.